“half my trials”: 18 songs left from 10 years

15 years ago I got a Philips MP4. I loved it. it was my favorite object. it wasn't an iPod, because those were a fortune in Brazil, but it was the next best thing and it was amazing. with its black piano color, its 5 buttons and its mini size that allowed easy handling, it was everything I could have wanted. I remember like it was yesterday, transferring songs and videos from my Philden computer to this little device, and watching Madonna's Borderline music video in the car on the way to school.

it was stolen after about 5 months.

***

it was never easy to make music for me. I was never virtuous, and only I know how many discouragements I heard throughout childhood and adolescence. even listening to music was difficult at times, which made creating it no easy task.

when I started taking courage to do it, I didn't have the courage to keep it. it was something shameful, me, pathetic, without talent or competence, wanting to try to make music. so almost everything I did, I discarded, almost immediately. At the end of high school, I started saving more stuff, and getting excited about music production. I downloaded some computer programs, and started to advance slowly.

until my hackintosh fried my hard drive (story for another post) and I lost all my files.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

what's left of my adolescence and college is very little. I had to dig through cell phones, pen-drives, HDs, to find some original files, and I tried to reliably re-record some songs that I had only the chords saved.

they are simple songs, to say the least, but they are part of my story. and I think that they, being the few survivors of almost 10 years, should not die in the drawer.

listen via bandcamp on your computer, and if you want to buy the collection, you’ll be able to listen anywhere through the bandcamp app - and you'll have access to the original files I had, photos, texts, etc.

I hope these songs do some good for someone - if they don't, they will have done me, and it takes a huge weight off my chest to get them out, once and for all.